tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90496016425457275652024-03-13T22:31:09.127-07:00What's Normal Anyway?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01933387348640729282noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049601642545727565.post-60313800983394231632015-04-29T15:14:00.003-07:002015-04-29T15:14:40.700-07:00Sarah's New WebsiteSarah's stories can now be found at <a href="http://www.sarahdykema.com/">www.sarahdykema.com</a> please visit her new site!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01933387348640729282noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049601642545727565.post-45797811170853279082015-04-07T18:02:00.001-07:002015-04-07T18:02:11.767-07:00The Taste of Cake Batter Chap Stick<b>PLEASE BEGIN VISITING MY NEW SITE AT <a href="http://sarahdykema.com/">SARAHDYKEMA.COM</a></b><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="" name="OLE_LINK4"></a><br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK3;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK4;">It was from across the room, the smell of cake batter was hitting my
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Olfactory Receptors </i>(aka my
“sniffer”). Causing an immediate craving for frosting and sprinkles. Much to my
surprise the smell permeating the room was coming from my friend’s daughter’s tube
of Chap Stick. Hardly being able to restrain myself, I reached out asking her to
pass over the product. Not sure if my lips were truly in need or my stomach for
the tasty treat. I apply. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK3;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK4;">Rubbing my lips together, resisting the urge to lick, I put the cap
on and toss it back across the room. Moments later, and much to my surprise, my
eyes catch an utterly repulsive scene. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK3;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK4;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">I should have known borrowing
Chap Stick from a seven year old was not a good idea.<o:p></o:p></b></span></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK3;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK4;">No longer was the balm being used for her “lips”, rather to rub as
some sort of topical ointment to her scab covered kneecaps. My immediate
response was to wipe off my mouth, but unfortunately my sub conscious was
tricked into thinking it was some yummy dessert, and had already sent my tongue
to a taste test. Licked dry, my lips were ready for a second coat. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK3;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK4;">While driving home, continuing to think about what just happened, I
start to giggle. Although the thought of putting scab juice all over my lips
was far from anything I would ever do, it was pretty funny. I quizzed myself, wondering
if I would have used the Chap Stick with prior knowledge of its “other” use? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK3;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK4;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Absolutely NOT!<o:p></o:p></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK3;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK4;">That clichéd phrase: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What you
don’t know won’t hurt you,</i> brought me to wishing I didn’t know about the
knees. Challenged by this, and thinking beyond the seven year old and her Chap
Stick obsession. Often times in life, it’s just easier “not knowing”. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK3;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK4;">It’s crazy how God uses these silly life jokes to humble us and
bring us to our knees (literally). I couldn’t help but be challenged by what I
can/cannot handle “knowing” about the people God puts in my life. There are definitely
times friends will share personal struggles, and by no means I can love them
and help them through their trials. And thankfully, I have friends that God has
put in my life to reciprocate the same thing. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK3;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK4;">But what about those people in my life, the friendships built on the
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">surface</i>, fear keeping away from
exposure to the “ugly”? Wondering how I will react when the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">repulsive</i> side is shared, the sin/the
struggles, we avoid the deep cut into reality. The news is shared, leaving us
to react. Do we quickly want to wipe away what we heard? Pretending as if not
to be affected?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK3;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK4;">All sin is repulsive! As humans we tend to rate sin. Judging the
affect it may have on society. I find peace in knowing God never bats an eye at
my sin. He forgives. God sent Jesus to pay for this sin, in full. He loves me
through my dirt, through my struggles. It’s when we turn from this sin that God’s
arms are wide open, waiting for us to fall into his embrace of grace. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK3;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK4;">As Disciples of Christ, we are to love like God first loved us. A
simple task? Far from it. As Christians, in loving those God puts in our lives,
we have to be willing to hear their sin. The same way God heard ours. Loving
them through it by extending grace. Willing to leave the Chap Stick on, even
prepared to reapply. Far from comfortable I know, but mirroring that of God is
no easy task. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01933387348640729282noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049601642545727565.post-57925524474824102902015-04-01T10:54:00.004-07:002015-04-01T10:54:49.210-07:00A Tale of a First Timer<b>PLEASE BEGIN VISITING MY NEW BLOG SITE: sarah@sarahdykema.com</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<a href="" name="OLE_LINK2"></a>A Weekend at Mount Hermon Christian Writer's Conference: </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;">Four years ago I began to write. I called it coping. I shared with
others my love story through words, woven in through life challenges. Peaking
in through a windowpane, I allowed others a glimpse into my “not so normal”
life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Write more</i> my readers
urged. Responding out of encouragement, I did. Never considering the seed God
was planting in my heart, a seed that with little water would take root. So I’m
here for water. Seeking a well. Eager to draw up what the Lord will provide.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;">Just a few days ago the journey to the well began. I couldn’t get
the faces of all the editors and agent’s that I was about to meet out of my
head. What will I say to them? What’s my “pitch? Do I have a pitch? Will they
like my pitch? <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Oh my goodness what am I
doing?</i> I contemplate not going. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What’s
the worse that can happen, they say no? </i>Finding comfort in this reality, I
press on.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;">It was 2:10pm on Thursday, running a good two hours behind schedule (as
normal). <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;">Checking the oil level under the hood, I get in the car with grease
on my fingers and sweat on my brow. Pulling out, I honk and wave allowing all
the neighbors to know, I was on the road! <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;">After a short six-hour drive up Interstate 5, to Santa Cruz,
California, I arrive. Dropping off my bags, I make my way to lunch. The
conference begins and the passion around me is palpable. Hearing story after
story, tale upon tale. People got straight to business. The voices, some deep,
some high, are filled with inflection, winning over their audience of their ever-creative
masterpiece. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;">Sitting at lunch I begin the first conversation; a much dreaded
dialogue. My heart begins beating out of my chest. I find I am wearing a smile
that to a stranger looks genuine, but I know it’s filled with fear and
insecurity. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What are they going to ask
me? What are they going to say?</i> My plate’s filled with salad. I have no
appetite. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><b>“This is it God! You brought me here. I’m all yours. I can’t waste
your time.” </b>I pray under my breath.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;">I introduce myself, quickly followed by questions intended to steer
away from the obvious. Finding out where people live, marriage status, number
of kids. Deflecting at its best. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;">The young girl next to me takes a bite of her food. Not long to chew
at all. She swallows. I see her out of the corner of my eye glancing over at
me. I look to the nearest clock, hoping we are almost out of time. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Here it comes</i>! <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I feel it, she’s about to ask me something, and it isn’t about my
grease stained fingernails. </i>“So, what are you writing?” (Just like the
famous rap song “Whoop There it Is<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">”)</i>.
The pit in my stomach grows and my palms begin to sweat. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;">My insecurities rooted in this <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">new
</i>passion of mine to write. I can’t help to notice the confidence of everyone
in the room. In this moment I feel God’s peace over me. Whispering in my ear, “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">you love to write</i>, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I’ve made you a writer</i>, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">enjoy
what I am blessing you with. Be calm. Be still</i>. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I am with you.”</i> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;">As I sat at that table, immersed in a “writer’s world”, my comfort
grew. God brought me to this place, asking me to be a steward of his words and
my testimony. So that is what I am here to do. I’m scared. I’m unaware. But I’m
ready. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;">I take my attention off the clock. Look my neighbor straight in the
eyes. I answer her question with confidence. Leaving my fear for the enemy to
choke on, I choose to honor my God. This could be the beginning of a journey to
a calling I never knew I had. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The day continues and dinner
roles around. Plates piled with green beans, roast beef, and a slop of carrot
soufflé (whatever that is). Writers eager and nervous to share with the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">chosen one</i>; the editor or agent of their
choice. It was time to pick their brain, or pitch our story. We wait for our
invitation to begin. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;">Everyone’s sat. The agent leads the table with a welcome,
encouraging us to enjoy our evening as a family. We make our way around the
table for introductions.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;">Nervous, preparing to “win” her over with my idea, I wait as the
writer ahead of me starts us off. Appearing to listen, I find myself murmuring
what I have to say under my breath. Wavering between the table talk and my
inner voice, I catch wind of a conversation that startles my thoughts. I lean
forward, all ears. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;">“We, as agents, aren’t really looking for memoirs or books that
incorporate some degree of trauma/life tragedy, not wanting anything with heavy
topics.” <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">WHAT!</i> That’s precisely what
I have. That’s what I have been working so hard on<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">.</i> All these women I’ve been interviewing, turning their stories of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">life by storm</i> into a narrative
non-fiction. NOW I find out they aren’t looking for books on these topics! Hoping
my face doesn’t display the utter shock through my fake smile. I keep
listening.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In between bites she
continues, “I would love to have someone submit something they wrote about a
dog.” <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A DOG</i>! <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What the heck, who writes about a dog?</i> Aren’t those books for the
pet store? For children? Discouraged and frightened by the new reality, I struggle
to finish my dinner.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;">Returning to my room, I can’t stop thinking about what I just heard.
Confused. This was just one agent, and they can’t all think this way. Trying to
get my thoughts back on track, I struggle. Something she said I was responding
to. I didn’t know what. I didn’t know why. All I could do was go to sleep and
wait on God. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;">It was an hour before my alarm sounded. I wake abruptly. Finding myself
sitting straight up in bed, blurting the words: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I have a dog, I HAVE A DOG!</i> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;">I have a terrible dog. A dog that eats socks and throws up boxer
shorts. A dog, that arrived in my husband and my life, shortly after our wedding
day. Expecting to be fostered by us as a potential companion dog. Benefitting
from my husband being in a wheelchair, the dog would learn so much. But with a
hyperactive personality he quickly became a “companion school drop out”. Good
thing since we fell in love, not willing to part. We have spent the last eleven
years with this crazy mutt. We’ve walked through life with him by our side. He’s
a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not so average dog, for a not so normal
life.</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><b>That’s it! This dog is going to share our story.</b> The story everyone
keeps telling me to write. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;">That day. That dinner. During our family time around the table. God
gave me strength to share but more importantly to listen. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;">There’s no doubt I will be here next year. Because I will have story
to share about <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">MY DOG!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK1;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK2;">-Thank You Mt. Hermon! <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
*<em>Also, I'm excited to say a publisher WAS in fact interested in my book! Working on that for now, your prayers appreciated. </em></div>
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<br /></div>
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Shine ON! </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01933387348640729282noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049601642545727565.post-66804745353731028622014-12-01T06:36:00.000-08:002014-12-01T06:36:33.472-08:00A Search for Sunshine <div class="MsoNormal">
It’s behind locked doors, in the darkness and stillness of
her bedroom that her thoughts, her feelings, her fears come alive. She sits,
she stews, she wonders, what will happen; what will come next. As she hears the
rumble of intense conversation seeping in from her parent’s room next door, she
struggles to escape her reality. It wasn’t long ago, family took on a different
meaning. Now torn, fractured, undone, the past only leaves for memories and
envy. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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The torment of change, life long adjustment, was swarming in
the thoughts of this young girl God had placed in my path. In this moment, it
was her inside out, upside down life that carved our conversation. Her
loneliness, confusion, and anger seeped into our discussion, her goal; to
appear tough, unaffected, and normal. But how is that possible when your
parents, the one’s you’ve put your trust in, the two who so long ago became
one, were about to divide? <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Her reactions, her reflex, took her down a road of harm, not
harm of self, but of spirit. Turning to earthly comfort, rather than heavenly.
Allowing the negative influences to effect personal decisions; music, friends,
movies, language… She recognized the lack of God and godly choices in her life.
I challenged her. She shared her need to return to youth group at church,
engage more in her Christian School’s weekly chapels, and the desire to stop
hanging out with friends that detract her from her focus. Aside from making
these adjustments to her environment, what she shared next left me feeling
empty, frustrated by her tainted reality. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This sweet girl, through her loneliness, felt she had to go
to these certain places, hang with certain people, and sing certain songs to
find God. This broken little heart, so lonely, so lost, spent several months in
this family storm, feeling a distance from her maker. I had good news to share…<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was at this point in our conversation God threw me a
little nugget of His wisdom. A thought so clear, a thought I, personally, have
never even considered. I shared with her about my husband’s accident when he
was 18 years old, leaving him unable to move, laid up in a hospital bed for
months as his body healed. During these many days, God was there with him.
Although he could not physically attend church, or flip through the pages of
his own bible, God did not leave his side. God is not a place! It was through
my husband’s stillness, inability to lift his arms and legs, moving only his
head, that he felt the thick presence of God. Not only a time used to heal his
body, but a time God strengthened his heart. Many nights and moments left in
his room without visitors, lost in loneliness, discontent about the future, and
grief over reality. God met him there and turned his tragedy into a testimony
of grace and love. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Sometimes we need to be in a dark spot, a dark room, for God
to show us light. Sometimes we need to be lost, lonely, afraid, to hear his
voice leading us closer to him. It’s never a fun moment to share such hurt in
the life of a friend, let a lone, a teenager. My heart throbbed, but God
replaced it with joy, as he was able to shed light on her dark situation.
Through his love, through his grace, he cares. We will hurt, we will stumble,
He will pick us up, and that day I got to witness just that. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-O9fCBwgOraw/VHx8tcaCZ7I/AAAAAAAAAcw/BUPph-muCek/s1600/Searchforsunshine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-O9fCBwgOraw/VHx8tcaCZ7I/AAAAAAAAAcw/BUPph-muCek/s1600/Searchforsunshine.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049601642545727565.post-86892933391629411092014-11-05T13:26:00.002-08:002014-11-12T13:32:26.747-08:00Set Free<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">On that day, when
evening had come, he said to them, “Let us go across to the other side.”</span></i><b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> </span></i></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">And
leaving the crowd, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. And
other boats were with him. And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were
breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. But he was in the
stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do
you not care that we are perishing?” And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said
to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.
He said to them, “Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?” And they
were filled with great fear and said to one another, “Who then is this, that
even the wind and the sea obey him?”- Mark 4: 35-41<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I remember teaching this particular story in Mark a few
years ago in our Children’s Ministry. After reading the scripture and talking
about these verses, I recall the children responding in shock. Totally baffled
by why the disciples, who time and time again witnessed the power of Christ through
his love and healing of people, would still react in doubt and fear. Even the
children recognized Jesus’ presence in the boat, questioning the disciple’s
lack of faith. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It seems so obvious. It’s so easy to recognize where the
disciple’s fell short in this situation. I too, reacted that way, thinking out
of my “oh so mighty” mindset, “if I were a disciple I would have totally
recognized Christ and not been the slightest bit worried.” Sometimes it takes
personal experience and individual storms to bring you to the foot of the
cross, humbling you and focusing your attention on Christ, and not your own
abilities. It’s out of our <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">own</i> fear,
doubt, hopelessness, and worry that our reactions are based. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Recently, I have leaned on these verses differently, a bit
more realistic, recognizing my personal weakness to trust in Christ, not far
from that of the disciples. After my husband Jeff and I completed the adoption
process of our son Arie, we couldn’t help but reflect on the flawless process
and experience we were blessed with. No hiccups, no setbacks; God poured his
blessing on us in a way that was truly amazing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After riding that wave of excitement and being absolutely
amazed of what God had done for us, fear began to creep in. It was nearing the
time when we said we would apply for our second adoption. There I was, like the
disciples, just leaving the shore where God so obviously revealed himself
through his faithfulness to my family. The farther I got away from that experience,
the more I grew weary of what was next, anticipation of a storm was weighing on
my heart. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Could God really do this again?
Would he do it again? It was so perfect the first time, why would he make it so
easy the second?</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Questions of doubt
filled my mind. The application for the adoption sat on the table. Every day I
would pass by it, my nervousness grew. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have seen so much hurt, brokenness, and sadness in my
friends who have experienced a different God-given adoption journey. Their pain
became my fear. I doubted God. I was sinning through my lack of trust. Could I
have really forgotten all he had just done for my family? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It wasn’t until recently I was in a worship service where
God brought me to my knees. It was that moment, Christ stood his ground;
shouting in my ear, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Have you still no
faith?”</i> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I sang and laid my burden
at my Lord’s feet, I surrendered to the lyrics: <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
My chains are gone<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
I’ve been set free<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
My God, my Savior has
ransomed me<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
And like a flood His
mercy reigns,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Unending love,
Amazing Grace!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
I felt God’s presence, I still do, his peace and unending
love for my family. That peace, that grace, does not mean there will be no
storm, but I’m ready! My chains are gone. I am no longer carrying the burden of
my sin. I have been set free. The adoption application is in no longer on the
table; it is signed and mailed. Because of God’s grace, love, and peace we are
entering into uncharted waters, that only He can control. God’s love for me has
no end. He can do it again. He will. In his perfect way. In his perfect timing.
<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-D1vBeIGz7t8/VGPR2K4yXlI/AAAAAAAAAcE/kajWXI1hk24/s1600/MothersDay6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-D1vBeIGz7t8/VGPR2K4yXlI/AAAAAAAAAcE/kajWXI1hk24/s320/MothersDay6.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049601642545727565.post-86176254513110166052014-09-23T07:50:00.000-07:002014-09-23T07:50:38.469-07:00A View From Above<div class="MsoNormal">
It was a friendship that began at the age in life when
crooked teeth didn’t matter, expressing yourself through fashion meant
mismatched socks, and our hairdos were still a part of mom’s morning schedule. Slumber
parties, horseback riding lessons, band concerts; what more could two friends
do together? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was in the same third grade class where the two of us
first met. She quickly became one of my best friends. I was tall, she was short;
she had long hair, mine not so much; she had sisters, I was an only child. We
were different, but it worked. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I was entering the eighth grade, our daily interactions
abruptly came to an end, as my family relocated to Michigan from California. After
our move, each summer I had the wonderful opportunity of spending a month in
California, reconnecting with family and friends. During this time we would
catch up chatting about boys, school, neighborhood drama… the endless list of a
teen’s diary. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I will never forget, when she shared some information that would
forever change her future. During her mid-teens, she was left with some heavy
news that would need processing for years to come, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">her inability to have biological children</i>. Of course news like this
shared between us youngsters felt incomprehensible, it was hard to express
empathy. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The years continued, and our friendship began to drift away.
We no longer had long conversations over the phone, summer nights out when
visiting, or letters sent via mail. It was the occasional phone-call on June 2<sup>nd</sup>
or October 5<sup>th</sup> to wish one another a happy birthday. That was about
it. Our lives were on the go, our journeys in different directions; we had new
relationships to fill our void. There were many changes, but that did not mean
I didn’t often think and pray for her. I always wondered, as we grew older, how
she was dealing with her ever-evolving reality. I always regretted not walking
through that with my best friend. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Until now…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Close to three years ago we reconnected for lunch, having no
idea where our life’s had taken us. What she didn’t know was that Jeff and I
were two years into our struggles with starting a family. What I didn’t know
was where they were in their journey to becoming parents. That day, that
moment, (I still get chills thinking about it) God revealed so clearly why so
many years ago he introduced the two of us. Those many elementary years were
all for THAT day! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She and her husband were just starting the adoption process.
Jeff and I had always been open to that idea but were stalling because our
feeling a lack of hope. God used their story, their faith, their pursuit to
kick start our adoptive ventures! It was only weeks after our time together
that Jeff and I jumped on the ‘Adoption Train’; the best ride of our lives. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Now both our families have been blessed with sweet little
boys who are only three months apart. The two of them met for the first time
recently, although, looking very different, share a very similar story. Much to
our surprise the friendship that God planted twenty four years ago was not just
about our awkward teenage smiles, or making squeaky noises on our flute and
clarinet, but rather something much greater. Sharing an experience that we
could have never prepared for, one we would never want to travel alone. A
friendship brought back together, forever bonded, by gifts given through God’s
endless grace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0mvsi1EbU30/VCGHv4IS77I/AAAAAAAAAaA/3f_0UGCgRW0/s1600/Sarah_Michele.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0mvsi1EbU30/VCGHv4IS77I/AAAAAAAAAaA/3f_0UGCgRW0/s1600/Sarah_Michele.jpg" height="146" width="200" /></a><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OwqC8t3IPQk/VCFoVJLToNI/AAAAAAAAAZw/VrT7RThxuzY/s1600/Mitch%2B%26%2BKitch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OwqC8t3IPQk/VCFoVJLToNI/AAAAAAAAAZw/VrT7RThxuzY/s1600/Mitch%2B%26%2BKitch.jpg" height="198" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049601642545727565.post-51889761006557235742014-09-16T07:07:00.000-07:002014-09-16T07:07:12.463-07:00Gated Community<div class="MsoNormal">
After weeks on our toes, cameras in hand, the inevitable
occurred. Of course while mom was gone, dad was working, and no one other than
grandpa was in sight. The “first steps”! Arie decided the lack of pressure and
audience was best for his debut of strolling across the living room, leaving a
total of fifteen footsteps behind.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Since that moment, our lives, and better yet our house, has
never been the same. From raising Grammy’s “pretties” to the top shelf, closing
every door while exiting, to removing every reachable glass from little
fingers. Now in every turn there is a gate to step over, openings barricaded by
random objects, and stubbed toes from the ever-changing furniture layout to
accommodate <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Mr. Mobile</i>. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I never envisioned living within the perimeters of a gated
community: however, I’m starting to see that more clearly! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Within this gated community can be found every toy, every
blinking light, every buzzing noise one could ever imagine. After pouring
money, time, and strategy into this evolving play space, where do you think
this kid would rather be? Where better, then the other side of the fence. The
many places and spaces that scream, “danger”, “hot”, “don’t touch”, “NO!” Why
must it be that his less than content mind, wanders from the area that is
designed for him, that is most safe and will best assist him in growing and
learning? WHY?! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can’t help but compare this visual, that I feel God has
put in my path, to a lesson in my own life. Focusing on my own boundaries, the
ones God places around me to keep me safe, maturing, and within <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">His</i> plan, I sometimes find myself at the
gate crying to be let out. Not in a literal sense but figuratively, wanting
what I can’t have, whining over something God does not intend for me. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have to be careful because if not paying attention, evil
will seep in, tempting me to focus on what’s “lacking”. In God I lack nothing,
but this world tells me otherwise. Over the course of the past 11 years of my
marriage I have had to learn to not make comparisons with other’s relationships.
If I allow myself to see what my friends have in their marriages, I find my
partnership with Jeff drifting away from God’s path. Sometimes, if watching
couples too closely, I see what I can’t have; <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">a husband pulling his wife into his big embrace</i>, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">lovers slow dancing during a wedding
celebration, two holding hands strolling in the sand</i>. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
God has gifted Jeff and I with something unique, a relationship
that is unlike many others. It is easy to look out, and concentrate on the many
blessings given to those around us, forgetting the thousands upon thousands, God has
lavishly heaped upon us! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Although I may say we are unique (and physically we are) God
reveals through other’s journeys that we are really all one of a kind. This can
be hard to recognize when focusing so intently on one’s self, but I find that
most people share these same feelings, they’re just specific to each situation.
God is faithful and will provide everything we need within your OWN “gated
community.” We just have to focus on what’s been placed at our feet, not the
feet of others, trusting in God’s perfect plan. So stop rattling the cage. Take
a seat in the center of where God has placed you. Then savor the glory of all <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">He</i> has done! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GnypTlO61dY/VBfA10DlPpI/AAAAAAAAAZI/-LKMAhdgsAI/s1600/GatedPic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GnypTlO61dY/VBfA10DlPpI/AAAAAAAAAZI/-LKMAhdgsAI/s1600/GatedPic.jpg" height="214" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049601642545727565.post-9730715559826952014-09-04T15:11:00.004-07:002014-09-04T15:11:48.775-07:00Wishin' for a Ramp<div class="MsoNormal">
For the most part, and by God’s grace, I would like to
believe that Jeff and I live this life with a good amount of positivity.
Although daily challenges arise and frustrations occur, we have learned to
hunker down, say a prayer and march in forward motion. But…there is one thing I
must admit that tends to leave us in a bit of a rut, literally sometimes a
ditch, not just emotionally but physically; that being issues with “the” ramp. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Before marrying Jeff and seeing this world through a lens of
someone with a disability, I never knew what an inhibitor a non-functioning <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ramp</i> could be. Now, you see, there are
different situations we face around the ramp. We have our personal one that
mechanically functions by the push of the button on the van (well
theoretically). Then there is the portable ramp, that we cannot forget to take
to our friend’s house; if forgotten, it means facing the embarrassment of
moving the entire party to the backyard just for our sake. There’s the
permanent one you wait two months for to be built in your brand new house, causing
you to switch to a manual push chair, just so you can be lifted in/out each
time you want to enter or leave your home. And then there’s the blue striped
ramp that leads through the curb cutout, allowing accessible entrances to and
from parking lots (usually blocked by bad parking). You see, this can be
frustrating, can cause strife in one’s relationship with their spouse, causing
us to react to all the other challenges that extend beyond the ramp. It’s a
trigger, waiting to be pulled on a loaded gun. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Staying positive through these obstacles takes work, it
takes prayer and forgiveness, it takes looking outward and viewing other’s
challenges, humbly accepting <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">you aren’t
the only one</i>. We fail at this a lot. We fight, we argue, we cry…we move on.
Much to our surprise, people are intrigued by the life God has blessed us with.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
While departing from an amusement park a few weeks back, we
were reminded of our differences, and how by being positive God can work in and
through us. As Jeff was backing up into the van, via the ramp, a little boy
passing by stopped. As he tapped his mom’s shoulder he yelled out, “Mom, why
can’t we have a car like that?” With a huge smile Jeff and I waved and
encouraged him to watch as Jeff continued into the drivers side. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What that little boy saw that day was not what the world
tells us to see. He saw the good, he saw the positive, he saw the ramp; and he
wanted one! This is something Jeff and I pray for, we want our ramp, not only
do we want it to work, but we don’t want to hate our need for it. We are who we
are, we are who God is intending us to be. We have to embrace that, even
through the storm, and allow that to work for the good. We need to encourage
those around us through our story, share our ramp with those who fall, and not
pull the trigger on that loaded gun, relying on patience and love in our
partnership. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
So here’s to that little boy who’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Wishin’ for a Ramp</i>:<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>Stay
positive, don’t let the world taint your view, you can do mighty things when
you allow God to use you! And remember life’s ramps aren’t all that bad…heck
often times they give you a lift.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-44dMxSjqNl4/VAjjl-kAysI/AAAAAAAAAYk/c8fVLvoaoq8/s1600/Ramp.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-44dMxSjqNl4/VAjjl-kAysI/AAAAAAAAAYk/c8fVLvoaoq8/s1600/Ramp.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049601642545727565.post-15289989364565931912014-08-25T10:08:00.002-07:002014-08-25T10:08:42.257-07:00No Need For Gloves<div class="MsoNormal">
The other day while waiting at a stoplight, I reached back
and gently placed my hand around the corner of my baby’s car seat. Without
being able to see his face, and only toes in frame, I felt his little soft
fingers begin gripping onto mine. No words, no noises, just silence, but so
much said as our hands connected. As he clutched, I slowly outlined his fingers,
rubbing over his nail beds and knuckles, his hands so soft, so perfect, not one
blemish. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I held hands with my 13-month old, I thought about these
tiny digits and all they would accomplish in this life. The imperfections will
soon be gone. These little hands experiencing splinters, and scrapes. Pained by
the unfortunate door slamming, leaving a hard to reach blood blister. Hangnails
becoming red and irritated. Calluses formed from learning to use a baseball
bat, and of course dirt and grime, along with other unpleasant detritus left
beneath the nail’s surface. All evidence of life’s unpredicted journeys. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In this moment, although as a mother it’s hard to admit, but
these little hands are not perfect, he is not perfect. It is my job to teach,
to forgive, to model, to love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I realize
these hands will <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">take</i> when they
should <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">give</i>, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">push</i> instead of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">hug</i>, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">point </i>in judgment rather than <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">fold </i>in prayer. . Our hands display the
matters of our heart, which is always a work in progress. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That day I prayed for these little hands. I prayed these
hands be gentle, that they learn to share. That the fingers pinched by doors,
are because of holding one open for a sweet elderly lady. That the callused
covered palms be from working to help those in need and the dirt embedded
fingernails a result from playing with friends and loving creation. I pray he
have compassion for people being made visible through his caring touch. That
wrinkles formed are not from a strong grip to money but rather holding firm to
those he loves. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our hands tell a story, sometimes a tale we feel not worth
repeating. Through life’s many lessons our hands grow weary. Amidst the many
physical changes one can pursue to obtain youth, hands will tell it all.
Wrinkles and swollen knuckles can only be hidden by gloves. But why hide? Don’t
we want the world to know our accomplishments, our setbacks? Don’t we want to
share our troubles and how through God’s grace we overcome? Without proof, our
story lacks validity. Everyone’s story is worth repeating, everyone has a
wrinkle or two, a scar on their palm, a crooked finger. So take off your gloves
and tell your story, what evidence do your hands show? <o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049601642545727565.post-71070264066753459642014-07-20T06:05:00.000-07:002014-07-20T06:18:31.389-07:00Dingy White Pits<div class="MsoNormal">
Ladies, this one’s for you. Let’s be honest, you know what
I’m talking about when I refer to that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">one</i>
white tank top, that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">one</i> you wear
under everything, the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">one</i> that has
the dingy white pits, no matter how many times you wash it? And if you don’t
know what I’m talking about then this blog entry is not for you! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For those of you that can relate, you know the limitations
to wearing this top, guarding onlookers to see it, as you perfectly pair it
with your favorite blouse, but never a shirt that would allow it to be seen. Let’s
just admit it, you’ve even pulled it out once or twice of the dirty clothes
because the outfit just doesn’t feel right without it. We all have one. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well at least I like to think we do, it makes me feel
better. I never imagined some of my favorite pieces of clothing, the hardest
ones to surrender, being the ones I wouldn’t let anyone see. As I strive to appear
put together, relaxed, well groomed, and up-to-date in my hair and clothing, I
often fail to worry about the things people can’t see, with intentions of
“fixing” it later. Oh how this so describes my life! <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When Jeff and I were first married, I remember having a
surprise visitor swing by the house to drop something off. This was not a
person I knew well but was a friend of Jeff’s family. As this person entered our
home, at first glance, I felt proud, as she caught me in a moment of good “wifehood”,
stirring our dinner over the stove. As she began getting a bit too comfortable
during her unexpected stay, my heart began to pound. I was envisioning the
piles, upon piles, of dirty laundry in our bedroom, along with our unmade bed,
and loaded down counter tops. That’s just to mention the surface, hoping she
didn’t start to stare closely at the un-vacuumed and un-mopped floors, dust
lined baseboards, and toothpaste marked bathroom sinks. Dreading the question,
I appeared relaxed, until at once, as if my greatest nightmare came true; she
asked to see what we had done with the place. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Before I could even intercede, making up some lame excuse to
avoid the tour, she was in our bedroom! It was obvious when her eyes saw the
room in utter disarray, meeting a totally different expectation to the meaning
“done with the place.” Shortly after she left, I remember balling my eyes out;
uncomfortable in my own skin, ashamed that anyone would have ever seen that
side of our lives, the side we tried, so carefully, to cover up. I mean
everyone thought we totally had it together right? A brand new married couple,
living on their own for the first time, and overcoming great daily hurdles of
managing a physical disability at the center of it all! It was easy, why wasn’t
my bed made, the laundry done, the sinks rinsed out? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because that’s just not how life goes for everyone, especially not for me! And now after ten years of marriage, I still struggle to
allow people into the truth. It’s something I work on, but honestly, it’s hard.
Covering up those dingy white pits stains in my life, continuing to wear them,
with the rare occasion of having them seen, is far from comfort. We often think,
that if anyone were to ever see that favorite white tank of ours they would
think differently of us, when in reality, they probably wouldn’t even notice! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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As a new mom, I have to remember I am not alone. Part of
allowing some of the “ugly” to show, is just admitting the truth to friends,
and much to my surprise finding out I am in good company. I am so thankful for
my friends for loving me and helping me see beneath the beautiful, and most
importantly for teaching me to show off my dingy white pits. One day, we will
need to be proud of these tanks and go out to lunch wearing nothing over top, confidently
allowing all to see! What a lunch date that would be… <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049601642545727565.post-20931019874951106062014-06-15T06:44:00.001-07:002014-06-15T06:44:53.821-07:00A "NEW" Day! <div class="MsoNormal">
As I rush through my morning routines, preparing for a week
away at camp with a group of elementary students, I can’t help but stop for a
few minutes and write a quick entry about this “new” day! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am so thankful that for the past eleven months I have no
longer been waking up next to my best friend, but now the dad of our sweet baby
boy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Twelve years ago, I remember
spending time with Jeff, shortly after we began dating. We were talking about
whether or not we wanted to have kids. I shared with him my longing to be a
mother some day. Not expecting it, his response was quite different. Abruptly
and without explanation, he mentioned his desire to live solely with his wife,
a life without kids. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At first glance, I was concerned, as this just plainly would
not work out if that were the case. Investing more into the conversation, I dug
a bit deeper, and quickly realized this shocking statement was coming from a
place of fear and doubt. Jeff is not really one to doubt opportunities life
puts in front of him. He usually faces them with a decisive “yes” or “no”. He
knows his limits, and knows them well. Coming from someone who has faced a lot
of setbacks, he is not one to spend much time dwelling on what he “can’t” do. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
During this conversation about future parenthood, I think
Jeff could not help but see the things he “couldn’t do”, but not in a pity-party
kind of way, more from a concern of holding a family and child back. Well, fast
forward. We are about to seal up our first year of being new parents, and Jeff
has been nothing but amazing. Today we celebrate a “new” day. This day is no
longer just about treating our own dads to lunch but rather a day to celebrate
all God has blessed Jeff with in his many new experiences of being a dad. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">father</i> role
brings a fresh look on life. There will be times where we have to be more
creative than others in some of the musts-do’s that we as a family just can’t
accomplish, but that will come in due time. Today, we celebrate fully what God
has given us and today I celebrate this man that my boy calls dad. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Jeff: You are an amazing person. Thank you for setting an
example for all to see, that this world is not about us. Thank you for teaching
me to laugh in moments we want to cry. Thank you for humbling yourself to allow
Arie the opportunity to call you dad, and to work hard to be the best father to
that little boy he could ever ask for. Thank you for loving me and caring for
the two of us each day, for working endless days and nights so we live
comfortably and give generously to our church, friends, and family. Thank you
for teaching Arie that life isn’t just about playing baseball, or swimming, or
going on hikes, but more importantly seeking God’s path. Without you I would be
lost, I would be selfish (okay still working on that one), I would be less
patient (yep, that one too), I would be more than likely living a life for
myself. But God placed you in my arms to live and learn about a unique life of
servant hood. I love our early mornings while others are still sleeping, when
we are up and spending time getting ready together. I love that we “need” each
other in ways that not all people do. Without me I realize physically you would
be stuck, but without you spiritually and emotionally I would be lost. Thank
you best friend, husband, and DAD for being obedient, and teaching others how
to love even through lives many surprises. It is on this “New” Day we celebrate
you! I love you to the moon and back. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1Q5ZjF2QEQ0/U52jD8EtUrI/AAAAAAAAAUY/7cH-opP4TUA/s1600/12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1Q5ZjF2QEQ0/U52jD8EtUrI/AAAAAAAAAUY/7cH-opP4TUA/s1600/12.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049601642545727565.post-91250504284276452792014-05-19T12:11:00.003-07:002014-05-19T12:11:36.537-07:00Captain Sleepy Head<div class="MsoNormal">
For a little boy who wears pajamas with the tagline “Captain
Sleepy Head” he sure lives up to “Captain Sleep <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Next to Mommy’s</i> Head” better. I guess this would take up too much
room on his tiny 9-month nightshirt.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As advice poured in from well-seasoned parents previous to
Arie’s arrival, the phrase: “whatever you do, don’t let him sleep with you”
trumped ALL counsel. We never thought it would be an issue in our family, as
our little man made his way into his crib at eight weeks old, sleeping twelve
hours each night without interruption. The truth seemed too good. After a rough
season of colds, flu, and upper respiratory issues, resulting in many nights
next to us in our bed, this “too good to be true” routine was no longer. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With an over priced video monitor, that was just shy of
being able to administer nighttime medications, as new parents we just couldn’t
rest without him by our side.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the
time, we did not have fear of the future; picturing our eighteen-year old son
still in bed with us, but nearly four months later, we’ve grown concerned.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s like our “dirty little secret”. Advice ringing heavily
in our ears, not wanting to admit to the fact that even after receiving warning
about this exact situation, we have somehow found ourselves deeply entrenched
in this accidental turn. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
As I heard Captain Sleepy Head awake from his crib in the
middle of the night, calling to come into the much more comfortable, king-sized
arrangement, I’m not going to lie, my heart was at ease. There’s something so
fulfilling about wrapping my arms around this luscious little bundle, and
pulling him towards my chest as we complete our night’s sleep. After so many
years of waiting for these moments, why wouldn’t we want this? I get it; it’s a
behavior, a conditioned one that only we have created. But sometimes behaviors
are well worth the consequences that are tied to modification. I doubt when
Arie is eighteen he will continue to reside in our bed, that would just be weird,
and I bet he would think so too. But for now, there is just nothing weird about
it; it’s just too natural and fulfilling. So here’s to another night “Captain
Sleep <i>Next to Mommy’s</i> Head”!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Mm-5SCkrvGM/U3pXLq6VudI/AAAAAAAAAS8/fJ1Uc04Z9TM/s1600/CaptainSleepyHead.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Mm-5SCkrvGM/U3pXLq6VudI/AAAAAAAAAS8/fJ1Uc04Z9TM/s1600/CaptainSleepyHead.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></div>
<o:p></o:p>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049601642545727565.post-58746885201984365902014-05-14T10:10:00.001-07:002015-02-25T11:13:40.542-08:00No Need For A Map<div class="MsoNormal">
As humans we desire to know answers that depict our future,
much like a road map, providing direction through life’s winding paths. But in
some instances we are not handed life’s map, but rather a compass. This is a
story about two friends, two journeys, one perfect plan. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Shortly after Jeff and I moved to California I was
introduced to what felt like my twin, my best friend, Joni. Initially
introduced because of our interest in running, our friendship was built on many hikes, runs, and outdoor-adventures. Little did we know, there was something
much greater in store for our friendship. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With our common desire to one day become mommies, we would
spend hours, dreaming of mommy-hood and planning our futures together,
everything down to our “dual” baby shower. We had it all mapped out. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As time marched on, so did our conversations, drifting from
the ever so hopeful topic. Pretty soon we stopped planning, it was getting
depressing. It was at this point in the strenuous trek Jeff and I decided to
pursue adoption. Both our families continued in our individual journeys to
parenthood. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The day finally came, I remember getting “the” call from
Joni, announcing their pregnancy. I was so happy for them. I could not stop shopping.
Auntie Sarah was out of control. Amidst my celebration, I grew concerned with
our own process. Would this ever happen to us? Would we still be mommies
together? Jeff and I had started our adoption process but there was no way we
would ever catch up, this could be a three-year voyage. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Plans continued to go against expectation. Joni and her
husband’s pregnancy became a devastating downward spiral. After several weeks
of enjoying the new idea of becoming parents, Joni’s pregnancy rapidly shifted
into one of worry, stress, and grief. The journey went from the elated emotions
of finding out they were expecting twins, to the loss of one baby within the
first trimester. This grief continued, in following appointments finding out
about their little girl having Down Syndrome, heart difficulties, and a
struggle to grow in the womb. The road for them felt less traveled as feelings
of emptiness and sadness filled their minds as they were sent home at 21-weeks
to “lay down, rest, and prepare for the worst.” I remember lying next to Joni
that day; we just cried! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Time continued on, Joni laid low, followed the doctors
orders, and the baby continued to truck along, not growing much but had a
strong heart beat. This little warrior princess was proving to be a fighter.
Mom too continued to fight, bedridden in the hospital for the month leading up
to the baby’s birth at 32-weeks.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Life for Joni and her family started looking up, although
storms were still in the forecast, God had a plan all along. After 120 days in
the NICU, two heart surgeries, and two years later, sweet Canon Joy, had made
her mark! A true miracle. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Shortly after her last heart surgery, Jeff and I completed
our adoption home study. It was a month after Canon’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">first</i> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">birthday</i>, our
little Prince Arie was born and came home to be a part of our family. No
waiting around for us! Now the two have play dates and will grow up side by
side. We caught up!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Looking back, God knew His plan. Maybe not providing the road map with clear direction but keeping us strong in our faith, always pointing us to hope, allowing us a firm grip on His compass. Through the stress we could rest assure He was in control, we just had to wait patiently to see the outcome. The evidence is in our two blessings, two journeys, one perfect plan! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-s5eIw_B4y28/U3OiRPMv6oI/AAAAAAAAASg/R8rtQ4m9jcg/s1600/Arie%2526Canon3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-s5eIw_B4y28/U3OiRPMv6oI/AAAAAAAAASg/R8rtQ4m9jcg/s1600/Arie%2526Canon3.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iHYbXdjLTEE/U3OiQ2HxmQI/AAAAAAAAASU/AIU1LqhdM24/s1600/Arie&Canon2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iHYbXdjLTEE/U3OiQ2HxmQI/AAAAAAAAASU/AIU1LqhdM24/s1600/Arie&Canon2.jpg" height="224" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OHqi0Nrm9p4/U3OiQzBhgTI/AAAAAAAAASc/VpR8RziI7Ck/s1600/Arie&Canon1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="display: inline !important; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OHqi0Nrm9p4/U3OiQzBhgTI/AAAAAAAAASc/VpR8RziI7Ck/s1600/Arie&Canon1.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049601642545727565.post-27631816493113995182014-02-06T23:25:00.001-08:002014-02-06T23:25:21.029-08:00Arie's Highlight Video Thanks to a my wonderful friend Dayna for making this beautiful video of our sweet baby boy from the time he came home to the moment he was forever ours! <u><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDKAT_s8GJI" target="_blank">CLICK HERE</a></u> to watch, enjoy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049601642545727565.post-68799064091355265402014-01-23T00:16:00.001-08:002014-01-23T00:18:50.517-08:00Different Stripes<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">When Arie first arrived into our lives, I
remember handing him to anyone and everyone who entered our home. We were excited
to share the sweet bundle of love, warmth, and cuddles. It is strange to think
that everyone who visited within that first 24 hours, knew this new member of
our family as well as we did. Upon his arrival, I recognized that by not
carrying him before birth, a progression of bonding needed to begin immediately. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">As days and weeks passed, I began reacting a
bit differently to “sharing” the new arrival like I did in those first several
hours. I found myself mirroring some behaviors that of a Zebra. Yes, I said
Zebra. You see Zebra foals will follow literally anything that they see moving.
A mare’s response and defense to this reaction, is to hover over their young,
by only allowing them to see their stripes. This type of imprinting allows the
foal to learn the unique striping pattern, scent, and vocalization of their
mother’s compared to the other members in the herd.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">With many people coming and going, and a need for
new caretakers as I had to head back to work, I often felt at times this
child’s surroundings were much like that of a herd. It’s amazing how quickly my
new motherly instincts surfaced, and I began “hovering” and trying my best to
surround him with the sounds I wanted him to recognize unique to me. I
became protective and defensive of any “bonded-like” look he would give someone
else in the room, causing a reflex type reaction to quickly remove him from
their site, once again, only to display my “stripes”. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">The voices he was hearing were foreign to the
one’s he had bonded with before entering this world. I was afraid he would
react to life, like that of a baby Zebra, bonding and following any voice that
would last for any length of time. I was his momma and he had to learn that. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Well much to my surprise, it did not take long
before I would enter the room, begin talking, and his little noggin would turn
my direction, clearly responding to my voice. I began trusting more of our
unique connection, becoming more confident that he saw me as his mother. I
found myself searching for others to notice, wanting them to recognize his love
and acceptance for me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Obnoxious, selfish, insecure, call this what
you would like. I see this as nothing but normal feelings, reactions, and
emotions in response to something so new, so scary, but yet so satisfying. The
love Jeff and I feel for this little boy cannot be described. We have never
felt a love like this. We are more than excited to announce that this love will
continue to grow and grow, into something much more over the course of our
lives, as we will be finalizing Arie’s adoption, this coming Monday, January 27<sup>th</sup>,
2014. Arie’s “Forever” Day, when God will permanently gift us with this little
Zebra, is finally here. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">This is really beginning to feel like “forever”…</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-p622u3cVPSE/UuDN1gOLFaI/AAAAAAAAAOY/UjADPw1OT0A/s1600/IMG2796.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"> <img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-p622u3cVPSE/UuDN1gOLFaI/AAAAAAAAAOY/UjADPw1OT0A/s1600/IMG2796.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tcP1Fd9aXTc/UuDOk7YXOUI/AAAAAAAAAOg/GoERmyM6Ir8/s1600/IMG2718.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tcP1Fd9aXTc/UuDOk7YXOUI/AAAAAAAAAOg/GoERmyM6Ir8/s1600/IMG2718.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049601642545727565.post-35884993913567783662013-12-25T07:03:00.002-08:002013-12-25T07:03:16.599-08:00The Early Bird
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Much like the average person, Christmas Eve and Christmas
Morning were such a time of anticipation and excitement for me. Trying to fall
asleep, waking many times in the night checking the alarm clock to see if it
was time to get up, and finally rising before the sun came up. I remember our
routine on Christmas Morning: I would run into the living room and grab the
stockings from under the tree. Trying not to take a peak in the large socks, I
would then bust through my parents door waking them up with my less than quiet
entrance. It was time to curl up in the middle of mom and dad in bed and begin
pulling out each item. At that moment I would get all settled and ready to go,
dad would roll over, bless me with a Christmas Greeting and instruct me to
first go make a pot of coffee. Seriously! We had some serious work to do, no
one had time for such nonsense. It was clear to me at these moments why dad had
taught me at such a young age to make a good pot, regardless if I actually
would partake of such grossness. What felt like days later, the pot was brewed
and mom and dad were ready. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Here I am thirty something years later, awake in my bed,
coffee in hand, full of excitement for the rest of the house to wake up on this
beautiful Christmas Morning. Why, at such a “mature” age, would I be
experiencing such child like anticipation? My waking up every hour on the hour
to check the clock, setting the alarm for a time that usually feels like
murder, hopping straight out of bed, debating whether a cup of coffee is even necessary,
is all catching me quite off guard. I thought I had already grown out of these
eager behaviors.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I sit and wait for the rest of the house to join me, I
hear the sweet short breaths of our brand new baby boy coming from the monitor
in his nursery. Today will be this little boy’s first Christmas. A year, when
paper, bows, and boxes are the most exciting part, however, the tree is filled
with much more. But why? I feel I have spent the last several weeks trying to
prepare my heart for the true meaning of Christmas, spending time focusing on
Christ’s birth and trying to lower my child like expectations of what society
tells us Christmas should look like. So why am I still reacting in such a way
as this? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have come to the realization it’s ok, today we are
celebrating Christ’s love and sacrifice for us. As part of his love for me and
my husband, we were gifted with this sweet bundle of joy. Today, we celebrate
life. We celebrate love. We celebrate joy. We celebrate hope. We celebrate
peace. We celebrate family. With this celebration comes: anticipation, gifts,
and blessings to and from others. God is so faithful, God is so loving, and
today we fully embrace that as we wake early, as we spend time with our
families, as we gift those we love, and as we thank the Lord for sending his
son to this earth. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Merry Christmas 2013! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
- The Early Bird<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-J8ExMrI5X4c/UrrzVR2IUKI/AAAAAAAAAMw/fEDUu8pgSXE/s1600/_MG_8124-5x7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-J8ExMrI5X4c/UrrzVR2IUKI/AAAAAAAAAMw/fEDUu8pgSXE/s320/_MG_8124-5x7.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0EIdsAZ548w/UrrzlHfMbkI/AAAAAAAAANA/d4yEetqL_ug/s1600/_MG_8377-5x7-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0EIdsAZ548w/UrrzlHfMbkI/AAAAAAAAANA/d4yEetqL_ug/s320/_MG_8377-5x7-2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049601642545727565.post-64313848724220574732013-11-27T09:52:00.002-08:002013-11-27T09:52:58.200-08:00And For This I Am Thankful...
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I never expected that in my most joyful moment I would
experience such pain. A pain I have never felt before. It was someone else’s
pain, a stranger, who I so rapidly felt love toward. In this moment my joy was
overwhelming, it gleamed from my soul. After a season of experiencing the
dryness of the wilderness I could see the black cloud in the distance, rain was
approaching. God’s showering of blessings in my life was nearing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In knowing something so wonderful, so life changing was
about to take place, how could I feel such grief? Empathy, compassion, love,
and mercy, were all things I prayed for in this moment and so desperately
needed. God placed me in this humbling and sober place. I knew he would get me
through. It was Friday, July 12<sup>th</sup>, 2013, five days before my husband
and I would be bringing home our brand new baby boy, a newborn not born to us,
but given. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The day we had been waiting for, the day we dreamed of, was
quickly approaching. The day we had so earnestly prayed for. On that Friday
afternoon, we were faced with the grief of two parents who had grown to know
this little boy for nine months, feeling him move and grow in his mother’s
belly. The day came when this couple knew their time with their little boy was
up. They could not care for this child once he was born. These nine months were
all they would ever have with him. The mother, making the hardest decision of a
lifetime, followed her heart, and relinquished this sweet precious baby, never
once seeing his face. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our conversation with this couple was an hour of listening
to their heart crying out, hearing their wishes for this child, and telling us
that they believe we are the couple to carryout and finish what was started.
That day, in that room, God’s presence was thick. My husband Jeff and I prayed
that God give us his wisdom, his words, and his love as we heard from this
hurting couple. He met all of these. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On Friday, July 12<sup>th</sup> a couple so courageously
gifted my husband and I one of the best gifts we have ever received. On that
day, a child to us was born, and on that day, a child for them was lost. We
grieved with these strangers over their loss, and hugged them with joy for
their gift. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">After hours of classes, interviews, and
conversations preparing us for this moment in adoption, no one could ever
prepare us for this authentic meeting in God’s grace, love, and mercy. It is
that day, in that moment, I rejoice. I reflect on that day, a short four months
ago. We were brought together, forever through our child, with this broken and
hurting couple, a relationship that will forever be a journey. This baby, this
gift, has changed our lives, our home, our relationship. God is faithful and
truly is completing in us, what he has started. And for this I am thankful… </span><!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AJbFLxKCrUo/UpYxaiLQQjI/AAAAAAAAALI/TdWBjbeCsqA/s1600/IMG_0089-5x7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AJbFLxKCrUo/UpYxaiLQQjI/AAAAAAAAALI/TdWBjbeCsqA/s320/IMG_0089-5x7.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049601642545727565.post-36375569818342371442013-10-01T12:16:00.002-07:002013-10-14T13:24:41.210-07:00MASH<div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">As a young girl, I remember frequently
playing <b>MASH</b></span><span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"> with my best friend, a </span><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">paper
and pencil game,</span><span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"> commonly played by preteens intended to predict one's future</span><span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">. These predictions included the two
of us living on neighboring farms, marrying tall blondes with blue eyes,
tending to our herd of horses, while raising our children. To be even more
specific we each would have three children, for myself, it was two boys and one
girl, with the girl being the youngest of the bunch. We would drive trucks, and
ride and train horse for a living. Life on the farm would be perfect, and all
personal needs/desires would be sufficiently met. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">If only our future could be so easily predicted, dreamed up, and
even as clearly mapped out as this. Often times as we try to navigate through
our lives with such control we find ourselves only confused and disappointed
when our personal plans and expectations fall through. We place such pressure
to succeed and fail to plan how we will react when this expected success does
not happen.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Around my husband’s and my seventh wedding anniversary we finally
had decided to take the next step in life, parenting. Given the fact that we
had the opportunity to witness many friends enter this stage in life much
before our decision to. We realized we could be embarking on a “not-so-fun” adventure,
trying to conceive. Both Jeff and I had decided to make a decision before we
began trying to get pregnant, discussing how we would handle fertility, if we
were to struggle, and at what point would we implement “plan b”, whatever that
would end up being. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">At the beginning of this new season in life, we made the heartfelt
decision to adopt if getting pregnant was not on our side. We enjoyed the first
several months of this journey and tried to make this time together fun and not
stressful, however, reality and doubt began to hit. I would be lying if I said
I did not experience frustration and sadness as I began to wonder about our
future with the more and more time that passed. It was a future that years ago,
was so clear, now fogging over with confusion and hopelessness. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Even though we had made a plan for the unexpected possibility that
pregnancy may not naturally happen, I did not feel it was concrete or possible.
Adoption felt so comfortable to discuss when it was just a plan that was never
to be needed, but when the reality of our situation continued to hit us,
adoption felt scary and unknown, yet a glimpse of hope. God began placing
people in our lives who, had adopted children or were currently en route. We
started using the term more frequently, as if we knew what it meant for our
lives. The foreign word and concept started to seep into our minds, hearts, and
relationship. This “plan b” became our primary focus, all we wanted, all we
knew. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">When it comes to God’s plan for our lives, all he is asking from us,
in the way of helping, is to have faith in him. The day we brought our twelve
day old baby boy home, was a day that my faith in God grew. God reveled his
love for us through sending this little boy, who so desperately needed a family
to love him, into the arms of a couple who so desired to share their love. I
could not have pictured anything more perfect than this.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">I recognize that starting a family and the decisions that need to be
made are emotional, personal, and overwhelming. How can something so wonderful
be so stressful? How can something so well thought out, planned, dreamed,
mapped, feel so unorganized, messy, and frustrating? Without God completely
driving the ship, we are left wandering through this scary place of life alone.
My encouragement not just to parents, but to every individual, is to put down
the paper and pencil that continues to map out the perfect scenario and future,
it will never be perfect, as long as you continue to try and draw it out on
your own. Pray that God change the desires of your heart, pray that you begin
to see more clearly his plan for you, that you feel the passion for his
calling. Allow time to grieve and readjust your lens on life, and make sure to
submit to God’s plans and understand, that no matter what they are they will
always be best for you. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>
<div>
<br />
<div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049601642545727565.post-87570463851730844042013-07-12T23:45:00.005-07:002013-07-12T23:45:52.479-07:00The Last 76 Hours
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>The Last 76 Hours-</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Life is like a…roller coaster; you never know what the next
turn will bring. That pretty much sums up the last 76 hours of our life. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u>Tuesday, July 9, 2013 8:30am:</u></b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jeff and I received a surprise phone call from our Adoption
Social Worker, stating she had great news. As I begin to pace around the
bedroom, sweat forming on my brow, and the phone shaking by my unsteady hand,
she proceeds to tell me they have a little baby boy for us, born on July 5<sup>th</sup>,
2013 (4 days old, at time of call). The parents are voluntarily relinquishing
their rights to the child and have chosen us. I have never experienced emotions
the way I did during that moment. On one hand I am composed while talking with
the social worker, and on the other hand I am a wreck pacing the room and ready
to totally loose it. She informs us we will need to wait for 48 hours to hear
more information that will be presented by the birth parent’s Social Worker. I
know what you’re thinking: what else…our thoughts exactly. The rest of the day
was toast. We were emotional wrecks! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Longest 48 hours of our LIFE! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u>Thursday, July 11, 2013 4:30pm:</u></b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Met with the birth parent’s Social Worker and our Adoption
Worker to hear the presentation of baby and his family. Anxious, nervous,
worried, excited, the list goes on of the varying emotions being experienced by
both Jeff and myself at this point. We hear more exciting and encouraging news
about this precious bundle of joy. They revealed he was 7 lbs, and 20.5 in.
long, healthy and eating like a champ. After hearing the dynamics of the family
and the baby’s current situation, the Social Worker asked how we were feeling. With
no immediate setbacks or concerns in moving forward we, with great joy, told
her we would love to hear more! She pulled out a picture. Oh boy, our hearts
sank. There I was looking at what could be our future son, all swaddled up in a
white hospital blanket with a blue and pink hat. Sleeping so peacefully. I
could not take my eyes off the picture. Moving forward met meeting the birth
parents the following day. Leaving that meeting we knew there was still huge
risks involved but we continued to rely on God for strength. We had made a
choice, no matter what if this opportunity did not work out we would be disappointed,
so we could either live the next hours/days in pure fear and doubt or we could
enjoy this gift of hope God has so graciously given us. We decided on the
latter option. What a joy ride it has been. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u>Friday, July 12, 12:30pm:</u></b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After a long one-hour and a half drive to the meeting
location, Jeff and I arrived to meet the birth parents and the Social Worker.
Baby boy was not present at this meeting. Jeff wanted to throw up the whole
drive there because of nerves and I just kept almost peeing my pants, needless
to say, we were a mess that was going to have to compose ourselves to be
empathetic and sincere to this struggling yet courageous couple. This was a
time about them and their needs, all our excitement, anxiety, joy, nervousness,
had to be put aside and delivered in a sensitive way. We know there are times
that God puts people in our lives to love, and sometimes these people are not
easy to love. One of our many prayers on the way to this meeting was that this
couple would be easy to love. As we walked into the meeting room and sat across
the table from two strangers who were considering us to surrender their rights
as parents to, I immediately fell in love with them. I admire their selfless
decision and commend them for their bravery. God was so present in this meeting
and everything went better than we could ever ask for. The couple absolutely
loved us as potential parents and had no hang ups about us as a couple or
individuals, they recognized that they could not give this baby the life he
deserves, and believe that we are the couple that can. We assured them that
with God’s help, we could! What a meeting. We hugged, took some pictures to
remember our time, and departed ways. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u>2 minutes later: </u></b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Social Worker calls, Jeff and I are hardly out of the driveway
of the office, “Their in! They want to move forward!” What an amazing relief.
Jeff and I had never felt God so close to us, the way we did during that
meeting. Even the Social Worker, during that phone call, mentioned she had
never experienced anything like that meeting in all the years she had been
working as a Relinquishment Worker. God’s name was glorified, and for that we
are so thankful! So what does “moving forward” mean?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u><b>Tuesday July 16<sup>th</sup> 10:30am:</b></u><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We will go meet baby boy and spend an hour hearing from his
current caretaker, who has had him since he left the hospital. Oh and did I
mention I will be cuddling, loving, smelling, staring, more staring…all the
things a new mommy does with her new born, yes I said smelling, some of you
love “New Car Scent” I love “New Baby Scent”. Tuesday feels so far away, my
diaper bag is already packed. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<u><b>Wednesday July 17<sup>th</sup>: THE BIG DAY!</b></u><o:p></o:p></div>
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Baby comes home! And that’s all I have to say. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Please continue to pray for us during these next several
days, weeks, and months as the process is not yet over, and there is always a
risk until the adoption is finalized. If everything goes as planned, we are
expecting it to take no more than six months! That’s incredible timing. What a
word, timing, God has done nothing but continued to reveal who he is through
this entire process. Jeff and my faith has grown, literally, by the hour, for
the last 76 hours.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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*No names or identities can be revealed yet so unfortunately
no picture of baby or name can be shared. Please respect this and understand we
are eager to share and will do so as soon as we can. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you are a close friend or relative that
knows more information please do not share any info on comments made in any
social media circle. Thanks! <o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049601642545727565.post-63520850268443515852013-07-02T23:51:00.001-07:002013-07-02T23:51:26.173-07:00Hanging By a Thread
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<br />
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The summer before my 30<sup>th</sup> birthday, Jeff and I
spent a week with some friends at the lake on our boat. I struggle to admit it,
but I feel I was nearing a crisis that thirty sounded way older than I could
possibly be. To top it off, spending a week in my bathing suit on the lake was
only adding to this discomfort. I was a short three months from the birthday
celebration, and my arm muscles were already loosening, creating what was
beginning to look like a flag hanging from my lower arm. I swear our bodies take
on a totally different confirmation for each decade we enter. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sitting on the edge of our boat, appearing relaxed, but in
actuality, obsessing about some of these physical changes and wondering if
anyone else could notice. I decided it was time for a dip. I began sliding down
the side of the boat, trying my best to gracefully enter the water without
making a splash. All of a sudden, before I had time to react, I was hanging upside
down with both arms and legs dangling from the side of the boat with the bottoms
to my bathing suit caught on the boat cleat, literally “hanging by a thread”,
my head inches from the water. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This thread was not about to let go. Through much
discomfort, as I am sure you can imagine without my explaining, I reached back,
straining to detach my suit from the boat, but no luck. My friend’s attempt to
help was poor as she could barely catch her breath through her hysterical
laughter. She began to instruct me to swim out of the suit. Now with an
audience nearing ten people, I had other things to worry about them noticing, I
was now moments from revealing all of these “30 year old changes”. I began
trying to find the hull of the boat with my feet. Gripping with my toes, I
struggled to push off. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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At last, the thread released, and I plunged face first into
the water. As I emerged to the surface, my eyes met all those who witnessed my
most embarrassing, what felt like way more than a “moment”. Perfect timing to
keep everyone’s attention, since all eyes were already on me, I decided to create
one more scene as I tried to get back into the boat. Amid my embarrassment and
nervous laughter, I began stepping onto the boat drive to help hoist my
graceful, 30 year old self up. When, at that very moment, I stood up out of the
water onto the back of the boat, I glanced down to notice the bottoms of my
suit formed a perfect sling shot, so stretched out they were now hanging down
to my knees; talk about going from one embarrassing moment to the next.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How quickly things can change in a moment. There I was
worrying about all the changes to “come”, and before I knew it my life was
hanging upside down, literally. This is much like the anticipation Jeff and I
are feeling as we await the arrival of a little one into our home. As much as
we can try to get things ready (adjusting daily routines, preparing the home,
reading books, etc.), nothing can fully prepare us for what is about to take
place. Before we know it, we will get hit with the surprises of parenting, and
will be feeling at times turned upside down, hanging on by nothing but a
thread…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Keep the laughs coming and share with us some of life’s
greatest moments and lessons of parenting you have experienced. Please feel
free to leave a brief comment sharing your own personal stories of when you
felt your life was “Hanging By a Thread”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LURLOG8Zm2o/UdPJ019sHxI/AAAAAAAAAGU/ZYTmB4aC0xs/s394/Blog6photo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="103" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LURLOG8Zm2o/UdPJ019sHxI/AAAAAAAAAGU/ZYTmB4aC0xs/s320/Blog6photo.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049601642545727565.post-59645288290449636422013-06-23T15:29:00.000-07:002013-06-23T15:29:38.347-07:00"What If?"
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<br />
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Through this foreign experience of adoption, are the “what
if” questions that are commonly posed by individuals inquiring about the
process: “What if the child’s mom used alcohol while she was pregnant and your
child has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome?” “What if the mom used drugs while pregnant?”
“Can you say no to a child if they have disabilities or ‘baggage’?” “Can they
tell you if the child will have any delays before you have to say ‘yes’?”…<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I just returned from spending a week in the mountains with
nearly 40 elementary campers. Through my personal camp experience God really
showed me something. I was with children who were born healthy, intelligent
kids and who were blessed with caring parents. Somehow between their birth and
now, a handful of them have unfortunately undergone serious upset to their
living environment/family dynamics.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A
large handful of these kids have struggled to overcome their parent’s divorce,
many being placed as victims in the middle of their parent’s strife. Some of
these kids living in a scary, unexplainable, situation of having an ill parent,
and sadly children, ill as a result of trauma.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This need to control our lives and try to identify the “what
ifs” before we are even handed them, can get a bit ridiculous and out of hand,
as we quickly loose sight of the “now”. These same parents that once had
healthy relationships and birthed healthy children, never thought they were
going to face such difficulties. We never know what tomorrow holds. There is a
plan for each of us on this earth and our trying to step in and control that
plan only complicates things. Currently, Jeff and I are trying to remain
positive as we prepare for our future little one that will hopefully be joining
our family in the near future. Of course it would be extremely helpful to know
what exactly we are going to face, rarely are we ever given such helpful information
in advance. I think this is God’s intention.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We cannot control what “type” of child God places in our
home whether that is a biologically child or adoptive child. The “what
if” questions are only scary and anxiety provoking, if one chooses to dwell on them, because they feel
so out of our control. However, what God really showed me during my mountain
top experience is that I cannot control what God wants for me, and my family,
but what I can control is my relationship with Him. I do know when God hands
you something, he will tell you what to do with it, all you have to do is
listen and stay out of his way! The rest is up to him. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Itv-a26r7Og/Ucd1DmCH8OI/AAAAAAAAAGE/YdyMT9jZ314/s1600/blog5photo2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Itv-a26r7Og/Ucd1DmCH8OI/AAAAAAAAAGE/YdyMT9jZ314/s320/blog5photo2.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049601642545727565.post-62631300833664221902013-05-23T06:41:00.002-07:002013-05-23T06:41:20.145-07:00Tic Toc...
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tic Toc…well we have reached the point in our adoption
process where the “official wait” begins. As I began preparing myself emotionally for this part of the journey, I started to feel relieved that
we were entering a “busy” time in life; summer, a season where time flies and
fun activities at work and home take place, and before you know it time passes. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After spending time in prayer and silence, seeking God’s
voice and guidance, I began to feel convicted of my way of coping. I recognized
that my prayer for patience and my feelings towards the “wait” were not one in
the same. My expectations for a fast pace, time flying, season, was not in fact
patience. It was my facing this journey without the dependence of God, and not
being open to what it is He wants for me to gain from this aspect of the
process. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I began to read in Mark, where scripture talks about
Christ’s experience in the wilderness. That even when Jesus was in the
wilderness he grew hungry. His so powerful example of how he dealt with his
hunger, left me questioning; “how am I going to handle my hunger if and when
that time comes?” If God, so chooses to place us in the wilderness, am I ready
to lean on the “word of God” and not “bread alone”? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The “Wilderness” by definition is a barren land that has
been neglected or abandoned, without food or water. The lack of life and
resources often leaves one deprived and reliant on whatever comes their way.
Often times without the fulfillment one needs to survive one can begin
resorting to things far from God and giving into temptation. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That same day that I was reading and journaling through
Mark, God directed my eyes to Isaiah 43:19. In this particular verse, God says
that he is going to do something new. He placed a path in the wilderness and
rivers in the desert. Through this scripture I am reminded how God will be with
me, but more importantly, it is possible for him to provide me guidance and
hope, even during a time that can feel so dry and lonely. I have begun praying
that God send me a path in my wilderness and a river in my desert. That life,
hope, and direction be placed in my life. It is possible, he has done it before,
and he can do that for me. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now, although I pray that we do not have to enter the
wilderness, I feel my heart is more prepared and my faith is strengthened by
God’s guidance through his scripture. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like
in the book of Genesis, I want to be like Jacob who served for his wife Rachel
for seven years, but because of his love for her it felt like days. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I desire that same love, and I am reminded
that this adoption is not for me, but for God’s child, and it is in His hands!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>A sneak peak at the nursery </i><i>that awaits baby Dykema.</i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CvC1xsYE5JQ/UZ4b9hgBMEI/AAAAAAAAAE4/nzWp8J7Vzqs/s1600/IMG1887.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CvC1xsYE5JQ/UZ4b9hgBMEI/AAAAAAAAAE4/nzWp8J7Vzqs/s320/IMG1887.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GVzgw2Z4j18/UZ4b9-nmCWI/AAAAAAAAAE8/nvjpGq7ynuo/s1600/IMG1888.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GVzgw2Z4j18/UZ4b9-nmCWI/AAAAAAAAAE8/nvjpGq7ynuo/s320/IMG1888.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049601642545727565.post-15317475174701446582013-02-14T22:55:00.002-08:002014-02-07T15:39:09.410-08:00Who Knew Elephants Could Swim? <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FkN_ePuTo1o/UR3dPDOa-zI/AAAAAAAAADE/DtaL0nl3eZ4/s1600/can-elephants-swim.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FkN_ePuTo1o/UR3dPDOa-zI/AAAAAAAAADE/DtaL0nl3eZ4/s320/can-elephants-swim.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I recently watched a video of a young elephant that was
recorded during its playful acts in the ocean. After being completely
mesmerized by the calf’s enjoyment in the water, I began researching elephant’s
abilities to swim. Much to my surprise, elephants are natural swimmers, even in
deep seas. In watching these large, somewhat awkward creatures enter the deep
waters and begin swimming, I began to see such grace in their movements. They
became extremely natural for such an unexpected ability. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I did not think anything about the fact that the video was
brought to my attention a day before Jeff and I had our first adoption home
study appointment. As I reflect on our meeting with our home study worker, and my worrying of their concerns about having a physically disabled father as a parent, I can’t
help but recognize God’s hand in providing me with a little object lesson of
the elephants to bring me peace during an overwhelming time. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In journaling through this experience of a “not so normal life”
I could not help but begin to feel somewhat like the elephants swimming. On
paper and at first glance, Jeff and I are seen as a possible “red flag” in that
we do not fit the “normal” mold of typical parents. We understand the dynamics
of parenting in our situation can lend to concerns of whether expectations can
be met to be successful parents.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I understand fully the job of the social worker is to look out for the wellness and safety of a potential child placed in our home, and if there are any factors that would inhibit successful parenting. However,
there are still moments that are not as easy as others. Especially, when at a
first glance you may come across as the elephant on the shore, awkward and not
a typical sight to be in the water. Our prayer is that those who are assigned to evaluate our life will see what we look like in the water, and not just on
the shore, that they will recognize how graceful we can swim, and how natural
we can be. God has equipped us fully to be parents. We realize we are not the
typical parents that one expects to see, but that is not to say God didn’t plan
for us to succeed. Just like he created those elephants to swim! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Please pray for us in the midst of this process, as we are
excited and eager to see what God has in store for us. We are specifically
praying for patience and most importantly that our faith in the Lord grow daily
as we rely on God’s plan to play out in our lives! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Check out the young elephant playing on the beach <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mOyzDCC8ww">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mOyzDCC8ww</a><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Check out these moves<o:p></o:p></div>
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpD40ewOyC4">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpD40ewOyC4</a>
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049601642545727565.post-60971361744239620142012-12-05T09:59:00.001-08:002013-02-15T07:30:50.836-08:00"Where Are The Bananas?" <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">Childbirth
is often seen as one of the most painful experiences anyone could endure. Well,
after this past weekend, I would have to say the second is running a marathon.
Now if that sounds wimpy to you that just proves to me you have not run one. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">I guess
when I signed up to undergo such an adventure I was focused more on the
sentimental side of the decision. I figured if we were adopting and being
pregnant was not in the immediate plan, I might as well do something heroic. I
guess God thought he would bless me with an experience as close to pregnancy as
possible. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">Here is
how, in my opinion, the two are a like: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">training,</i>
is much like the milestones in pregnancy that one overcomes, both emotionally
and physically. Every Saturday morning, my partner and I, would meet up, to
increase the mileage we achieved the week prior. Some long runs were better
than others. Many people tried to convince me that I was “trained” and “well
prepared”. Nothing can totally prepare you! We never trained the last six miles,
what a surprise, the hardest ones to overcome. It is like in childbirth when
all is said and done and you look around at hundreds of women who have labored
through the birthing process, and you wondered why there was still 99% of the
experience you were not aware of. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">Labor, a.k.a. </span></i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">race day, is one that you never
thought would come, but all of a sudden you are sitting at the breakfast table
panicking that there is no way you are ready. The race begins and through the
torrential down pouring of rain, wind, and cold temperatures, it felt like very
few moments of relief through the stressful running conditions. It was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">contraction</i> #16, I mean mile marker 16,
and through all my training, nothing prepared me for this, severe leg cramps in
both legs. The discomfort and pain that I felt was like no other, and mentally
knowing the worst was yet to come as 10 miles remained. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">It was
time to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">push</i>. By mile 18, all I could
think about was “where are the bananas?!” Did you know</span> <span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">one banana has approximately 800 mg
of potassium; this is 23 percent of your daily requirement and 60 mg of magnesium,
which is 15 percent of your daily requirements? Well I didn’t either, but my
body did, and I couldn’t have craved them more. Mile 20 could not have been
better, my <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ice chips</i> arrived, I mean
bananas. The relief was almost immediate. It kind of served as my <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">epidural</i> at this point. I was still
uncomfortable, still felt the pressure, in my legs, but definitely relieved me
enough to get through the worse part, the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">delivery</i>.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">The last
six miles, I can hardly remember, as I just had to push, breath, and take one
step at a time. Finally, mile marker twenty-five appeared. The <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">head</i>, I mean end, was in sight. With
half a mile left to go, my partner and I picked up our pace and began passing
people, as if we just started the race. Our heads held high, exhausted, but
ready for the last push to the end. We joined hands, lifted our arms up for the
final hurrah, and crossed the finish line. It was an amazing accomplishment. I
could not have done it without my partner Allie. She held my hand through it
all and talked me through my pain, regardless of my grumpy moments. The last
resemblance of a marathon and childbirth is, before I know it, I will forget
the pain I endured, and sign up to do another one. But until I can feel my legs
again, I do not think so! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-CEQg8r9giLw/UR5UoawYXrI/AAAAAAAAADU/eKNxE_y-Bp0/s1600/64.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-CEQg8r9giLw/UR5UoawYXrI/AAAAAAAAADU/eKNxE_y-Bp0/s320/64.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9049601642545727565.post-49320729961250732392012-11-16T08:20:00.002-08:002013-01-29T13:43:46.992-08:00<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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So here it is folks, my attempt at writing a blog and
putting our life out on public display! <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Ever since I first met Jeff and began my relationship with
this wonderful man, friends have often told us that we should write a book. Now
this could either be something recognized as, “wow we are so cool, that our
friends think everyone should hear about us,” or (more or less), “we are so unusual
that everyone should see who we are!” I believe the latter to be more of the
drive behind the comment and encouragement. But all that to say, I kind of get
it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Although, one would argue in defense, to their encouragement
to us being authors, the truth is, we are quite unique and we know that. Why do
we know that? Well let’s just start with some of the ridiculous comments we
have heard from the general public in reaction to meeting a man in a
wheelchair. Everything from the severely emphysemic women who was trying to
sell us a miracle vitamin that she swore would heal Jeff of quadriplegia, as if
it was a disease. To the women who’s assigned seat, on a flight to
Michigan, was next to us at the window. In mid-straddle over Jeff, she realized
she did not want this arrangement of having to climb over Jeff every time
needing to use the restroom. In response, she begins yelling out to her son in
the back of the plane and pointing at Jeff, in her attempt to switch seats, “He
can’t walk, he can’t walk.” No, no, not embarrassing at all! With my humor
I just lifted my arm and began to wave to the rest of the passengers, yes, yes,
it’s us he can’t walk, as if we were the winners of a random raffle drawing. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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We get it, we stand out, and to tell you the truth, being an
only child, I don’t mind it a bit! From the beginning we knew we were going to
experience life differently then those around us and have experiences (like the
ones stated above) that do not compare to our friends. But we also see the flip
side, that each of these moments, are not typical, and through them God teaches
us to rely on him and each other more and more. The strength of our
relationship not only to each other, but to God does not always compare to the
average Joe. I feel blessed that some of the trials we are placed in are not
typical and we are brought closer to Jesus through them. That makes being
different, totally worth it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Well speaking of being different, our journey in life
continues down the road of uniqueness. We have been married now for almost nine
years. We have been so blessed with friends all over the country who we love so
dearly. We have been so fortunate to have support in the areas of our life that
are not always easy, breezy. God is always there! Right when we are denying
ourselves of our uniqueness in our attempt to “fit-in” and be normal, God taps
us on the shoulder and gently reminds us, that is not the calling he has for
us. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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We are excited to share with you, if you have not already
heard, the last gentle tap God placed on our shoulder, was the pressing on our
hearts to adopt. We have been trying for the past couple years to conceive naturally, but again, that may just be to “normal” for the Dykemas. God has a
plan for everyone, and his plan for us, is to keep us unique for now. We could not
be more thrilled by this, and understand fully this is a blessing from God to
have such a desire to adopt. In all honesty, the enemy tries his hardest to get
us down, by rubbing in our faces we are not “typical” and at times this can be
hard. We would love that you pray for us during this time. We are waiting for
our Home Study date to be set. Please pray, that through this process, that can
be quite long, we continue trusting in God and find joy through the wait, not
lacking in patience. Thanks for reading. The next update will be much shorter I
promise!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com2