Friday, July 12, 2013

The Last 76 Hours

The Last 76 Hours-
Life is like a…roller coaster; you never know what the next turn will bring. That pretty much sums up the last 76 hours of our life.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013 8:30am:
Jeff and I received a surprise phone call from our Adoption Social Worker, stating she had great news. As I begin to pace around the bedroom, sweat forming on my brow, and the phone shaking by my unsteady hand, she proceeds to tell me they have a little baby boy for us, born on July 5th, 2013 (4 days old, at time of call). The parents are voluntarily relinquishing their rights to the child and have chosen us. I have never experienced emotions the way I did during that moment. On one hand I am composed while talking with the social worker, and on the other hand I am a wreck pacing the room and ready to totally loose it. She informs us we will need to wait for 48 hours to hear more information that will be presented by the birth parent’s Social Worker. I know what you’re thinking: what else…our thoughts exactly. The rest of the day was toast. We were emotional wrecks!

Longest 48 hours of our LIFE!

Thursday, July 11, 2013 4:30pm:
Met with the birth parent’s Social Worker and our Adoption Worker to hear the presentation of baby and his family. Anxious, nervous, worried, excited, the list goes on of the varying emotions being experienced by both Jeff and myself at this point. We hear more exciting and encouraging news about this precious bundle of joy. They revealed he was 7 lbs, and 20.5 in. long, healthy and eating like a champ. After hearing the dynamics of the family and the baby’s current situation, the Social Worker asked how we were feeling. With no immediate setbacks or concerns in moving forward we, with great joy, told her we would love to hear more! She pulled out a picture. Oh boy, our hearts sank. There I was looking at what could be our future son, all swaddled up in a white hospital blanket with a blue and pink hat. Sleeping so peacefully. I could not take my eyes off the picture. Moving forward met meeting the birth parents the following day. Leaving that meeting we knew there was still huge risks involved but we continued to rely on God for strength. We had made a choice, no matter what if this opportunity did not work out we would be disappointed, so we could either live the next hours/days in pure fear and doubt or we could enjoy this gift of hope God has so graciously given us. We decided on the latter option. What a joy ride it has been.

Friday, July 12, 12:30pm:
After a long one-hour and a half drive to the meeting location, Jeff and I arrived to meet the birth parents and the Social Worker. Baby boy was not present at this meeting. Jeff wanted to throw up the whole drive there because of nerves and I just kept almost peeing my pants, needless to say, we were a mess that was going to have to compose ourselves to be empathetic and sincere to this struggling yet courageous couple. This was a time about them and their needs, all our excitement, anxiety, joy, nervousness, had to be put aside and delivered in a sensitive way. We know there are times that God puts people in our lives to love, and sometimes these people are not easy to love. One of our many prayers on the way to this meeting was that this couple would be easy to love. As we walked into the meeting room and sat across the table from two strangers who were considering us to surrender their rights as parents to, I immediately fell in love with them. I admire their selfless decision and commend them for their bravery. God was so present in this meeting and everything went better than we could ever ask for. The couple absolutely loved us as potential parents and had no hang ups about us as a couple or individuals, they recognized that they could not give this baby the life he deserves, and believe that we are the couple that can. We assured them that with God’s help, we could! What a meeting. We hugged, took some pictures to remember our time, and departed ways.

2 minutes later:
Social Worker calls, Jeff and I are hardly out of the driveway of the office, “Their in! They want to move forward!” What an amazing relief. Jeff and I had never felt God so close to us, the way we did during that meeting. Even the Social Worker, during that phone call, mentioned she had never experienced anything like that meeting in all the years she had been working as a Relinquishment Worker. God’s name was glorified, and for that we are so thankful! So what does “moving forward” mean?

Tuesday July 16th 10:30am:
We will go meet baby boy and spend an hour hearing from his current caretaker, who has had him since he left the hospital. Oh and did I mention I will be cuddling, loving, smelling, staring, more staring…all the things a new mommy does with her new born, yes I said smelling, some of you love “New Car Scent” I love “New Baby Scent”. Tuesday feels so far away, my diaper bag is already packed.  

Wednesday July 17th: THE BIG DAY!
Baby comes home! And that’s all I have to say.

Please continue to pray for us during these next several days, weeks, and months as the process is not yet over, and there is always a risk until the adoption is finalized. If everything goes as planned, we are expecting it to take no more than six months! That’s incredible timing. What a word, timing, God has done nothing but continued to reveal who he is through this entire process. Jeff and my faith has grown, literally, by the hour, for the last 76 hours.

*No names or identities can be revealed yet so unfortunately no picture of baby or name can be shared. Please respect this and understand we are eager to share and will do so as soon as we can.  If you are a close friend or relative that knows more information please do not share any info on comments made in any social media circle. Thanks! 

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Hanging By a Thread

The summer before my 30th birthday, Jeff and I spent a week with some friends at the lake on our boat. I struggle to admit it, but I feel I was nearing a crisis that thirty sounded way older than I could possibly be. To top it off, spending a week in my bathing suit on the lake was only adding to this discomfort. I was a short three months from the birthday celebration, and my arm muscles were already loosening, creating what was beginning to look like a flag hanging from my lower arm. I swear our bodies take on a totally different confirmation for each decade we enter.  

Sitting on the edge of our boat, appearing relaxed, but in actuality, obsessing about some of these physical changes and wondering if anyone else could notice. I decided it was time for a dip. I began sliding down the side of the boat, trying my best to gracefully enter the water without making a splash. All of a sudden, before I had time to react, I was hanging upside down with both arms and legs dangling from the side of the boat with the bottoms to my bathing suit caught on the boat cleat, literally “hanging by a thread”, my head inches from the water.

This thread was not about to let go. Through much discomfort, as I am sure you can imagine without my explaining, I reached back, straining to detach my suit from the boat, but no luck. My friend’s attempt to help was poor as she could barely catch her breath through her hysterical laughter. She began to instruct me to swim out of the suit. Now with an audience nearing ten people, I had other things to worry about them noticing, I was now moments from revealing all of these “30 year old changes”. I began trying to find the hull of the boat with my feet. Gripping with my toes, I struggled to push off.

At last, the thread released, and I plunged face first into the water. As I emerged to the surface, my eyes met all those who witnessed my most embarrassing, what felt like way more than a “moment”. Perfect timing to keep everyone’s attention, since all eyes were already on me, I decided to create one more scene as I tried to get back into the boat. Amid my embarrassment and nervous laughter, I began stepping onto the boat drive to help hoist my graceful, 30 year old self up. When, at that very moment, I stood up out of the water onto the back of the boat, I glanced down to notice the bottoms of my suit formed a perfect sling shot, so stretched out they were now hanging down to my knees; talk about going from one embarrassing moment to the next.

How quickly things can change in a moment. There I was worrying about all the changes to “come”, and before I knew it my life was hanging upside down, literally. This is much like the anticipation Jeff and I are feeling as we await the arrival of a little one into our home. As much as we can try to get things ready (adjusting daily routines, preparing the home, reading books, etc.), nothing can fully prepare us for what is about to take place. Before we know it, we will get hit with the surprises of parenting, and will be feeling at times turned upside down, hanging on by nothing but a thread…

Keep the laughs coming and share with us some of life’s greatest moments and lessons of parenting you have experienced. Please feel free to leave a brief comment sharing your own personal stories of when you felt your life was “Hanging By a Thread”.