Tic Toc...

Tic Toc…well we have reached the point in our adoption process where the “official wait” begins. As I began preparing myself emotionally for this part of the journey, I started to feel relieved that we were entering a “busy” time in life; summer, a season where time flies and fun activities at work and home take place, and before you know it time passes.

After spending time in prayer and silence, seeking God’s voice and guidance, I began to feel convicted of my way of coping. I recognized that my prayer for patience and my feelings towards the “wait” were not one in the same. My expectations for a fast pace, time flying, season, was not in fact patience. It was my facing this journey without the dependence of God, and not being open to what it is He wants for me to gain from this aspect of the process.

I began to read in Mark, where scripture talks about Christ’s experience in the wilderness. That even when Jesus was in the wilderness he grew hungry. His so powerful example of how he dealt with his hunger, left me questioning; “how am I going to handle my hunger if and when that time comes?” If God, so chooses to place us in the wilderness, am I ready to lean on the “word of God” and not “bread alone”?

The “Wilderness” by definition is a barren land that has been neglected or abandoned, without food or water. The lack of life and resources often leaves one deprived and reliant on whatever comes their way. Often times without the fulfillment one needs to survive one can begin resorting to things far from God and giving into temptation.

That same day that I was reading and journaling through Mark, God directed my eyes to Isaiah 43:19. In this particular verse, God says that he is going to do something new. He placed a path in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. Through this scripture I am reminded how God will be with me, but more importantly, it is possible for him to provide me guidance and hope, even during a time that can feel so dry and lonely. I have begun praying that God send me a path in my wilderness and a river in my desert. That life, hope, and direction be placed in my life. It is possible, he has done it before, and he can do that for me.

Now, although I pray that we do not have to enter the wilderness, I feel my heart is more prepared and my faith is strengthened by God’s guidance through his scripture.  Like in the book of Genesis, I want to be like Jacob who served for his wife Rachel for seven years, but because of his love for her it felt like days.  I desire that same love, and I am reminded that this adoption is not for me, but for God’s child, and it is in His hands!

                                       A sneak peak at the nursery that awaits baby Dykema.

Who Knew Elephants Could Swim?

I recently watched a video of a young elephant that was recorded during its playful acts in the ocean. After being completely mesmerized by the calf’s enjoyment in the water, I began researching elephant’s abilities to swim. Much to my surprise, elephants are natural swimmers, even in deep seas. In watching these large, somewhat awkward creatures enter the deep waters and begin swimming, I began to see such grace in their movements. They became extremely natural for such an unexpected ability.

I did not think anything about the fact that the video was brought to my attention a day before Jeff and I had our first adoption home study appointment. As I reflect on our meeting with our home study worker, and my worrying of their concerns about having a physically disabled father as a parent, I can’t help but recognize God’s hand in providing me with a little object lesson of the elephants to bring me peace during an overwhelming time.

In journaling through this experience of a “not so normal life” I could not help but begin to feel somewhat like the elephants swimming. On paper and at first glance, Jeff and I are seen as a possible “red flag” in that we do not fit the “normal” mold of typical parents. We understand the dynamics of parenting in our situation can lend to concerns of whether expectations can be met to be successful parents.

I understand fully the job of the social worker is to look out for the wellness and safety of a potential child placed in our home, and if there are any factors that would inhibit successful parenting. However, there are still moments that are not as easy as others. Especially, when at a first glance you may come across as the elephant on the shore, awkward and not a typical sight to be in the water. Our prayer is that those who are assigned to evaluate our life will see what we look like in the water, and not just on the shore, that they will recognize how graceful we can swim, and how natural we can be. God has equipped us fully to be parents. We realize we are not the typical parents that one expects to see, but that is not to say God didn’t plan for us to succeed. Just like he created those elephants to swim!

Please pray for us in the midst of this process, as we are excited and eager to see what God has in store for us. We are specifically praying for patience and most importantly that our faith in the Lord grow daily as we rely on God’s plan to play out in our lives!  

      

Check out the young elephant playing on the beach

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mOyzDCC8ww

Check out these moves

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpD40ewOyC4

"Where Are The Bananas?"

Childbirth is often seen as one of the most painful experiences anyone could endure. Well, after this past weekend, I would have to say the second is running a marathon. Now if that sounds wimpy to you that just proves to me you have not run one.

I guess when I signed up to undergo such an adventure I was focused more on the sentimental side of the decision. I figured if we were adopting and being pregnant was not in the immediate plan, I might as well do something heroic. I guess God thought he would bless me with an experience as close to pregnancy as possible.

Here is how, in my opinion, the two are a like: training, is much like the milestones in pregnancy that one overcomes, both emotionally and physically. Every Saturday morning, my partner and I, would meet up, to increase the mileage we achieved the week prior. Some long runs were better than others. Many people tried to convince me that I was “trained” and “well prepared”. Nothing can totally prepare you! We never trained the last six miles, what a surprise, the hardest ones to overcome. It is like in childbirth when all is said and done and you look around at hundreds of women who have labored through the birthing process, and you wondered why there was still 99% of the experience you were not aware of.    

Labor, a.k.a. race day, is one that you never thought would come, but all of a sudden you are sitting at the breakfast table panicking that there is no way you are ready. The race begins and through the torrential down pouring of rain, wind, and cold temperatures, it felt like very few moments of relief through the stressful running conditions. It was contraction #16, I mean mile marker 16, and through all my training, nothing prepared me for this, severe leg cramps in both legs. The discomfort and pain that I felt was like no other, and mentally knowing the worst was yet to come as 10 miles remained.

It was time to push. By mile 18, all I could think about was “where are the bananas?!” Did you know one banana has approximately 800 mg of potassium; this is 23 percent of your daily requirement and 60 mg of magnesium, which is 15 percent of your daily requirements? Well I didn’t either, but my body did, and I couldn’t have craved them more. Mile 20 could not have been better, my ice chips arrived, I mean bananas. The relief was almost immediate. It kind of served as my epidural at this point. I was still uncomfortable, still felt the pressure, in my legs, but definitely relieved me enough to get through the worse part, the delivery.

The last six miles, I can hardly remember, as I just had to push, breath, and take one step at a time. Finally, mile marker twenty-five appeared. The head, I mean end, was in sight. With half a mile left to go, my partner and I picked up our pace and began passing people, as if we just started the race. Our heads held high, exhausted, but ready for the last push to the end. We joined hands, lifted our arms up for the final hurrah, and crossed the finish line. It was an amazing accomplishment. I could not have done it without my partner Allie. She held my hand through it all and talked me through my pain, regardless of my grumpy moments. The last resemblance of a marathon and childbirth is, before I know it, I will forget the pain I endured, and sign up to do another one. But until I can feel my legs again, I do not think so!  

So here it is folks, my attempt at writing a blog and putting our life out on public display!

Ever since I first met Jeff and began my relationship with this wonderful man, friends have often told us that we should write a book. Now this could either be something recognized as, “wow we are so cool, that our friends think everyone should hear about us,” or (more or less), “we are so unusual that everyone should see who we are!” I believe the latter to be more of the drive behind the comment and encouragement. But all that to say, I kind of get it.

Although, one would argue in defense, to their encouragement to us being authors, the truth is, we are quite unique and we know that. Why do we know that? Well let’s just start with some of the ridiculous comments we have heard from the general public in reaction to meeting a man in a wheelchair. Everything from the severely emphysemic women who was trying to sell us a miracle vitamin that she swore would heal Jeff of quadriplegia, as if it was a disease. To the women who’s assigned seat, on a flight to Michigan, was next to us at the window. In mid-straddle over Jeff, she realized she did not want this arrangement of having to climb over Jeff every time needing to use the restroom. In response, she begins yelling out to her son in the back of the plane and pointing at Jeff, in her attempt to switch seats, “He can’t walk, he can’t walk.” No, no, not embarrassing at all! With my humor I just lifted my arm and began to wave to the rest of the passengers, yes, yes, it’s us he can’t walk, as if we were the winners of a random raffle drawing.

We get it, we stand out, and to tell you the truth, being an only child, I don’t mind it a bit! From the beginning we knew we were going to experience life differently then those around us and have experiences (like the ones stated above) that do not compare to our friends. But we also see the flip side, that each of these moments, are not typical, and through them God teaches us to rely on him and each other more and more. The strength of our relationship not only to each other, but to God does not always compare to the average Joe. I feel blessed that some of the trials we are placed in are not typical and we are brought closer to Jesus through them. That makes being different, totally worth it.

Well speaking of being different, our journey in life continues down the road of uniqueness. We have been married now for almost nine years. We have been so blessed with friends all over the country who we love so dearly. We have been so fortunate to have support in the areas of our life that are not always easy, breezy. God is always there! Right when we are denying ourselves of our uniqueness in our attempt to “fit-in” and be normal, God taps us on the shoulder and gently reminds us, that is not the calling he has for us.

We are excited to share with you, if you have not already heard, the last gentle tap God placed on our shoulder, was the pressing on our hearts to adopt. We have been trying for the past couple years to conceive naturally, but again, that may just be to “normal” for the Dykemas. God has a plan for everyone, and his plan for us, is to keep us unique for now. We could not be more thrilled by this, and understand fully this is a blessing from God to have such a desire to adopt. In all honesty, the enemy tries his hardest to get us down, by rubbing in our faces we are not “typical” and at times this can be hard. We would love that you pray for us during this time. We are waiting for our Home Study date to be set. Please pray, that through this process, that can be quite long, we continue trusting in God and find joy through the wait, not lacking in patience. Thanks for reading. The next update will be much shorter I promise!